Mens Information and Support Association Inc.

Separation and Stress

Separation: Broken man to leading a fruitful life

The Counsellor reflected:

it was a pleasure to work with Jayden, he realised his ability to harness his personal and external resources to the point where he reached a satisfying outcome, where he now sees himself as leading a fruitful life.

Jayden (not real name) came to MISA at a time in his life when he was distraught, and literally a broken man. Exhausted and worn out from fighting “battles” on several fronts, in his own words he felt like he had “nothing left to give”. But he did, he had untapped resources, and now he has stabilised his personal situation, and is well on the way to a fruitful, meaningful and active life.

Jayden experienced what most of us will experience at some stage of our lives, a serious and enduring life challenge. Whilst most of all will encounter short term stressors, such as a car accident, where we “write off our car”, and need to get it fixed again.  An enduring challenge lasts for longer, months and possibly years, and sometimes the end doesn’t seem visible.  

In Jayden’s situation, his wife left him for another man, and insisted she have majority care of the children. Suddenly Jason’s life had gone from stable, to unpredictable and in turmoil. At the time he was experiencing:

  • grief and the loss of a partner and his then life dreams
  • Fear of losing access to his children, and left wondering how he could meaningfully contribute to their lives
  • Incredibly busy, as he entered the domain of the legal system to work for fair access to his children.
  • Sleep deprived from sleep deprivation and stress
  • Dislocated after leaving his home
  • Still trying to contribute at work despite arriving there feeling mentally exhausted.
  • Disconnected from his life routine – things were no longer normal
  • Thoughts of ‘ending it all’

Whilst most of us are capable of navigating these in the short term, in Jayden’s case it lasted for 2 years, and wisely Jayden harnessed his resources and “endured” for the long journey.

A MISA Counsellor worked with him on quite a few elements, not the least managing the emotional roller coaster, but on reflection he talks about the practical tips he developed, and the broadening of his mental fortitude and capabilities, in order to get through the lower moments.